


you can lay on the long side (wherever you’ll be someone)

by plinys



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 16:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16684984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys
Summary: “I helped her escape,” Ray says, “Before, the first time, I gave her the time stone the first time and I-”“I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that,” Ava cuts him off.[an episode tag for 4.05 -Tagumo Attacks!!!]





	you can lay on the long side (wherever you’ll be someone)

**Author's Note:**

> i have so many emotions after last nights episode so i had to write this and tbh ill probably write a few more post episode things because im in crisis mode

Everything seems to happen in slow motion, one second he’s telling her to run, (one second he’s almost running away with her), and the next he’s watching her turn herself in and he - 

He’s lost her once before.

And now he’s forced to watch as he loses her again. 

When he’s finally begun to admit to himself what he wanted. Realizing as he’s losing her how much he wants her, to be with her, to do this properly, and to fall in love with her. He can already feel himself beginning to fall. Had felt it before, all those months when half his dreams were about her, and most of his waking thoughts were concerns for her. 

And then…

Just for a moment.

He had her there, safe on the Waverider, as beautiful as ever, and he lost her all over again. 

All he can do is watch as they take her away again.

He doesn’t realize that he’s standing there long after she’s gone, until someone cuts through the fog in his head, calling his name.  

The shock, the hurt in his chest, too much to process at once. He can still feel the ghost of her fingers against his, the heavy weight of the time stone in his hand, the way she had turned back just for a moment to look at him before she was taken away, that look of steadfast determination in her eyes.

“Ray,” his name again, and finally he tears his eyes away from the space where Nora used to be, to focus instead on the person beside him. 

Ava Sharpe. 

Ever since she and Sara had gotten together they’d grown closer, close enough to almost be considered friends, but right now Ray can’t think of a single positive thing about the woman beside him. The woman who is the epitome of the Time Bureau, who labeled Nora as a criminal despite the fact that she had done nothing wrong. 

It only feels worse when she, in a soft voice, probably meant for comfort, says, “You did the right thing.” 

No.

He didn’t.

He knows that he didn’t.

He should have just left her safe and in hiding.

He should have pushed her more to run away and protect herself.

He should have have ran away with her.

He should have - 

“I helped her escape.” 

Ava’s, “What?” isn’t nearly as shocked as he expected it to be. 

“I helped her escape,” Ray says, “Before, the first time, I gave her the time stone the first time and I-”

“I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that,” Ava cuts him off. 

“If she’s a criminal then so am I,” Ray insists. 

It wasn’t fair that Nora should be punished for her escape when that was technically his fault. Just as she was being punished for breaking time, which was more accurately her father and Mallus’ fault. 

Ava puts a hand on his shoulder meant for comfort, though he shrugs her off a moment later, unable to stand the thought of being comforted right now. The only comfort that would work would be having Nora back here, close and safe, and not locked away for all of time. 

“I wanted her to run again,” Ray admits. “I told her to run and she brought us here.”

“ _ She  _ did the right thing,” Ava replies, voice soft, like she’s talking to a child.

Like he’s some sort of fragile thing close to breaking. 

He might just be.

He can’t be here, can’t stay here anymore. 

“I need to-” Ray cuts himself off. Not sure how to finish that sentence. Not sure if he wants to do so with Ava around. Because he knows what he wants to do, what he  _ needs  _ to do, and he knows what he will have to lose if he does. “I need to get back to the Waverider.”

“Don’t do anything that you’ll regret,” Ava tells him, though she opens up a portal back to the Waverider without question.

 

*

 

Things do not get easier once he is back on the ship.  

All he can think about is the spaces that Nora used to occupy not hours before. The way he had searched the whole ship for her before he found her hiding out in the cargo bay. (Even though she had insisted that she wasn’t hiding.) The way the medbay felt empty without her in there, worrying if she’s good enough to save John.

She was.

She  _ is _ .

So good.

Even if she refuses to admit it to herself. 

He avoids the team when he gets back, catches John’s eye for just a moment, the hint of concern there that the other man shoots him, but it is all too much to handle. He wonders if John had known that this was coming. There had been moments, where he lingered back trying not to push too hard, when Nora and John had spoken in hushed tones in the medbay. 

Had he been the one to convince her to turn herself in?

The thought of asking crosses his mind just once, but he can’t bring himself to say the words, to ask a question that he’s not ready to hear the answer to. 

Going back to his room doesn’t make him feel much better. It’s too empty, too alone, even though Nora was never in this room, he can’t help but imagine what it would have been like if he could have brought her here. Had her safe here in his arms. 

Regret churns in his stomach. 

That he didn’t do enough. 

That he didn’t hold tight enough. 

That he didn’t kiss her when he had the chance. 

When he sleeps that night it is restlessly, the only dreams that come are nightmares, his mind forcing him to relive all the different ways that he’s lost Nora over and over again. 

 

*

 

“Ray?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

Zari frowns at him. 

Of course, the team knows about Nora. He’s certain that Ava would have reported as much to Sara, and secrets are rarely kept among the Legends. He knows that he should be trying to pretend that everything is alright, forcing a smile, going about his morning routine like usual, but he can’t.

It had been easier before, when he thought Nora was on the run, when he didn’t know where she was. He had been able to hope that she was safe, to tell himself that no news was better than bad news.

But now…

Now he knows exactly where she is.

Locked behind bars at a Time Bureau detention facility. 

“Aren’t you the one that always says talking about your feelings help,” Zari pushes. 

He looks up at her finally, tearing his gaze away from the mug of coffee that has long since gone cold. There’s no way that she could miss the redness around his eyes, the signs of a sleepless night, of tears that had come when he was all alone and unable to hold himself together anymore. 

“Ray,” a touch of concern. 

“She saved John.” 

“That doesn’t make her less of a criminal,” Zari says, softly, “She tried to kill us all, multiple times.” 

He’s always known how Zari felt about Nora, this wasn’t a surprise.

“She was trying to turn over a new leaf, she was trying to be good, and then she just-”

“Who?” 

Charlie’s voice cuts him off. He had forgotten all about her. Forgotten about everything that wasn’t Nora. But he turns now to see her there, still with Amaya’s face, dressed in a set of pajamas, holding an empty bottle of something clearly alcoholic in her hand. 

“Nobody,” Zari says.

At the same time Ray says, “Nora.”

Even though the name wouldn’t actually mean anything to Charlie. 

It must be the way he says her name because Charlie hums a little as she tosses her bottle into the trash and makes her way to the fabricator. “She your girlfriend or something?” 

“Could’ve been,” Ray admits. 

Soft enough that he’s not certain Charlie will hear him.

But she does, hums for a moment in understanding. “She break your heart?”

“She turned herself into the Time Bureau,” Ray says. 

“She’s a criminal,” Zari adds, “She broke time, nearly unleashed a demon on the world.”

Ray bites down the urge to point out that  _ that  _ wasn’t her fault. Knowing that Zari wouldn’t believe him. Nora didn’t even believe him when he had tried to tell her that all of Mallus’ doing wasn’t her fault. 

Charlie turns back to them, having successfully made a cup of tea from the fabricator, “Sounds like my kind of girl.”

“You would’ve liked her,” Ray agrees.

All too well aware that part of what drew him to Charlie in the first place was how much she had reminded him of Nora. But here was Charlie, getting a chance to work with the team, to prove herself, not getting sent to hell.

Whereas Nora. 

“What you need is a good ole prison break,” Charlie comments, raising her cup of tea in a mock salute. 

Zari makes an offended noise across from him, turning to glare at the shapeshifter, “Don’t listen to her. She’s a bad influence.” 

 

*

 

Charlie's suggestion sticks around in his head a lot longer than it should. 

Rationally he knows that it’s a bad idea, that Nora didn’t want to run, that she was trying to do this properly. That somehow his hope of inspiring her to become a good person had led to her wanting to pay for her  _ crimes _ .

But the thought of this.

Of Nora being in a Time Bureau cell for the rest of her life.

Of being apart from her for the rest of his life. 

He wouldn’t let that happen. 

He can’t imagine a life without her.

He doesn’t want to.

 

*

 

It’s reckless, and dangerous, and breaking all of the rules. So unlike him that he cannot help but wonder when he became  _ this  _ person, the type that chooses his emotions over what is right, that chooses Nora over the Legends.

He would do it again.

He would choose her over them every time. 

This felt so right, how could it be wrong? 

He lingers there for a moment before making his presence known, watches her there, sleeping restlessly on a small mattress with only a thin sheet over her. The cell isn’t much, a pathetic looking bed, a desk and chair both bolded down to the floor, a toilet in the corner. He’s not certain whether it’s better or worse that she’s in solitary confinement. 

It’s only been a few days but his heart aches to see her like this, her cheeks seem to have lost some of their color, her brown prison jumpsuit hanging a little too loosely on her body, and she twists and turns in her sleep, clearly unable to get comfortable.

It’s only been a few days.

It’s supposed to be a lifetime. 

At least she’s in solitary confinement, so there’s nobody else to see him when Ray uses the ATOM suit to return to normal size in the middle of her cell. 

Nora is a light sleeper, clearly had not been having an easy time sleeping beforehand, her eyes snapping open the second his feet settle on the ground, returned back to normal size.

He catches for a moment something like shock in her eyes, horror, before acceptance and - “This is a dream.” 

“No,” he shakes his head, “No, I’m really here.” 

Ray reaches out to her, offering a hand to confirm as much, and Nora reaches out hesitantly, her still sleep fogged mind barely believing that he is in front of her. But once her fingers brush against the suit she seems to realize the truth of it.

Nora darts up from her bed with sudden wakefulness, crossing her arms over her chest. Her voice an angry whisper when she asks, “What are you doing here?”

Ray had thought that that much would be obvious, “Rescuing you.” 

“You can’t just,” she says, voice a bit too loud, hitting at his ATOM suit to move him away from her. Ray steps back, used to this treatment by now. Smiling because Nora had not lost her spirit while she’s been kept in here. She seems to remember herself and lowers her voice back down to a harsh whisper. “I don’t  _ want  _ to be rescued.” 

“Nora-”

“No, listen, please,” her voice is soft, breaking slightly. So he does. He listens to her. “I have to do this right, I have to stand trial and live out whatever sentence the Time Bureau gives me, I can’t keep running for the rest of my life.” 

He gets that.

He does.

It’s the right thing to do.

The rational part of his brain knows that. 

The part of him that wants to follow the rules and do things right.

But there’s another part of him…

The part that is so in love with Nora Darhk that looking at her here in this cell hurts him more than he can put into words. 

“You’re really going through with this,” he asks. 

“I have to,” Nora insists. 

“I wish I hadn’t been such a good influence on you,” Ray says .

Nora laughs a little at that. Stepping close into his space.

It’s not as comfortable as it could be, the ATOM suit not really made for this, but he holds her close. Hugs her, like this might be the last chance he has. Holds onto her, if only for a little bit longer, because he’s going to have to lose her again, and the thought of leaving her here hurts too much. 

He’ll get her the best lawyer that money can buy. Call in favors with his brother Sydney and cash out almost every bit of Palmer Tech stock that he still has, if that’s what it takes. It’s going to be a federal trial, hush hush, crimes against  _ time  _ a secretive enough matter as it is, but he’s not going to lose her.

He won’t.

And if Nora wants to do this properly, then he’ll do that. 

For her.

For both of them. 

He has to. 

“I would’ve ran with you,” he says, softly, because what else is there to say. 

When Nora looks up at him, her smile is small, and a little sad, “I know.” 

 

*

 

The next time he sees her he’s on the other side of a glass wall, holding a phone up to his ear, just for a chance to hear her voice.

She looks just a little better, smiling at the sight of him, happy for just a moment. His chest aches as he looks at her smile, and forces himself to smile the same. To push past the hurt at being separated from her, and focus on the little bit that they have. 

Knowing that they’ll have more moments in the future.

That he’s working to make sure of it. 

Instead, he focuses on the note of pleasant surprise in Nora’s voice, as she asks the same question she asked him the night before, “What are you doing here?”

“It’s visiting hours, isn’t it?”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me about darhkatom on twitter or tumblr @ plinys


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